Thursday, October 22, 2009
In Keeping with Slogan 42
As we study the loJong again, I have been re-reading The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron, and found this "Dwelling in the in-between state requires learning to contain the paradox of something's being both right and wrong, of someone's being strong and loving and also angry, uptight, and stingy. In that painful moment when we don't live up to our own standards, do we condemn ourselves or truly appreciate the paradox of being human? Can we forgive ourselves and stay in touch with our good and tender heart? When someone pushes our buttons, do we set out to make the person wrong? Or do we repress our reaction with "I'm supposed to be loving. How could I hold this negative thought?" Our practice is to stay with the uneasiness and not solidify into a view. We can meditate, do tonglen, or simply look at the open sky -- anything that encourages us to stay on the brink and not solidfy into a view."
Monday, October 19, 2009
Whether it's glorious or wretched, be patient
Today we're going to talk about loJong Slogan 42: Whichever of the Two Occurs, Be Patient
Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche: “The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws or centralizes into oneself.” OK. Experience everything totally without mental reservations... without withdrawing into oneself. This has been so difficult for me. I've wanted to do nothing else but withdraw. No complete acceptance or openness here. But, again I study the dharma and I find the answer. Just be open to what is happening; remember to practice tonglen and think of all the other people in the world who are feeling just as I do and stand for them -- take the pain, embarrassment, sorrow, for them -- and experience it all without mental reservations, and do it to the best of my ability. So, I can't do it perfectly; perfection is not asked of me, just that I make the effort; that I devleop these things. "Devloping" suggests a process, and regardless of how it looks to me, I am in the midst of the process.
Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche: “The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws or centralizes into oneself.” OK. Experience everything totally without mental reservations... without withdrawing into oneself. This has been so difficult for me. I've wanted to do nothing else but withdraw. No complete acceptance or openness here. But, again I study the dharma and I find the answer. Just be open to what is happening; remember to practice tonglen and think of all the other people in the world who are feeling just as I do and stand for them -- take the pain, embarrassment, sorrow, for them -- and experience it all without mental reservations, and do it to the best of my ability. So, I can't do it perfectly; perfection is not asked of me, just that I make the effort; that I devleop these things. "Devloping" suggests a process, and regardless of how it looks to me, I am in the midst of the process.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Afternoon Sangha
Today is our first 3:30 sangha in almost three years! I'm excited to get this going again. I always enjoyed the afternoon group; mostly people who, like me, work part-time and can break away for dharma and meditation mid-afternoon.
This week we will talk about "Desire" again, because we can never really talk about it too much! It is the First and Second Noble Truths -- all of us suffer and we suffer because of craving or wanting or attachment. However you say it it is the same thing: desire. Now, desire is not "bad" per se, we can want to live with some level of physical comfort, to learn more and more, to be of greater benefit in life all the time, to give love and compassion, etc., but the attachment to all of this is what causes the suffering. The Buddha said in his Discourse II, "“Let me tell you about the middle path. Dressing in rough and dirty garments, letting your hair grow matted, abstaining from eating any meat or fish, does not cleanse the one who is deluded. Mortifying the flesh through excessive hardship does not lead to a triumph over the senses. All self-inflicted suffering is useless as long as the feeling of self is dominant.
“You should lose your involvement with yourself and then eat and drink naturally, according to the needs of your body. Attachment to your appetites – whether you deprive or indulge them – can lead to slavery, but satisfying the needs of daily life is not wrong. Indeed, to keep a body in good health is a duty, for otherwise the mind will not stay strong and clear.”
Lama Yeshe taught that the Buddha compared desire to being in debt, "If you owe money to the bank for your house, every month you have to pay. In the end, you will own the house. With sensual desires however, you cannot pay off the debt; they arise again and again. Hunger, thirst, lust for sex, warmth, coolness, they all come back again and again. Trying to fulfill our desires is like carrying water to the sea; a never ending task and ultimately completely useless."
These both tell me about my own need have certain things, but also to be a certain way, have people think of me in certain ways. These attachments are just as problematic as the attachment to sensual desires -- maybe even more so -- because they prevent me from living my life authentically. My ego, my identity, is so invested in doing what I think you will respect (also called impressing you), that I can't be genuine. What would that look like, to be genuine in my life? Living each moment as it comes about from my open heart. Letting go each moment and living out of real appreciation, love and compassion. But also, and most frightening, letting you see me as I really am "warts and all" as they say. Letting you see that I am not "there" yet, but am human and learning to live the dharma.
This week we will talk about "Desire" again, because we can never really talk about it too much! It is the First and Second Noble Truths -- all of us suffer and we suffer because of craving or wanting or attachment. However you say it it is the same thing: desire. Now, desire is not "bad" per se, we can want to live with some level of physical comfort, to learn more and more, to be of greater benefit in life all the time, to give love and compassion, etc., but the attachment to all of this is what causes the suffering. The Buddha said in his Discourse II, "“Let me tell you about the middle path. Dressing in rough and dirty garments, letting your hair grow matted, abstaining from eating any meat or fish, does not cleanse the one who is deluded. Mortifying the flesh through excessive hardship does not lead to a triumph over the senses. All self-inflicted suffering is useless as long as the feeling of self is dominant.
“You should lose your involvement with yourself and then eat and drink naturally, according to the needs of your body. Attachment to your appetites – whether you deprive or indulge them – can lead to slavery, but satisfying the needs of daily life is not wrong. Indeed, to keep a body in good health is a duty, for otherwise the mind will not stay strong and clear.”
Lama Yeshe taught that the Buddha compared desire to being in debt, "If you owe money to the bank for your house, every month you have to pay. In the end, you will own the house. With sensual desires however, you cannot pay off the debt; they arise again and again. Hunger, thirst, lust for sex, warmth, coolness, they all come back again and again. Trying to fulfill our desires is like carrying water to the sea; a never ending task and ultimately completely useless."
These both tell me about my own need have certain things, but also to be a certain way, have people think of me in certain ways. These attachments are just as problematic as the attachment to sensual desires -- maybe even more so -- because they prevent me from living my life authentically. My ego, my identity, is so invested in doing what I think you will respect (also called impressing you), that I can't be genuine. What would that look like, to be genuine in my life? Living each moment as it comes about from my open heart. Letting go each moment and living out of real appreciation, love and compassion. But also, and most frightening, letting you see me as I really am "warts and all" as they say. Letting you see that I am not "there" yet, but am human and learning to live the dharma.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Sunday Morning
Sitting and looking out my office window at my ice-covered neighborhood -- and wanting. Wanting to go to a meeting; wanting to exchange the new router; wanting to go to Starbucks; wanting to be with my family. Wanting, wanting, wanting. Desire, desire, desire. Didn't we just talk about this in sangha last month? I taught on this subject on September 10. But, desire is always present in samsara -- otherwise it wouldn't be samsara. So, maybe we will talk about "desire and the nature of desire" again this week. Once again examine the way wanting/desire/ craving are ever-present in this life and the ways in which we can be with craving without judgment or self-hate. Knowing it for what it is and opening our hearts to ourselves in compassion and loving-kindness.
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